New Stuff and Fat Hairy Nekked Men

First, as Jimmy Chitwood once said, I got somethin' to say...

Launched my brand new website last night (www.paulstoecklein.com). There are a few short stand-up video clips on there, and more from other shows coming soon. Also got a new Facebook fan page and Twitter page. Those are the best places to find out about my upcoming shows and whatnot. They're also the best place to see that I really don't have any fans, but my Web dude said they're the thing to do, so there ya go.

Now, onto something more important.

Why can't men who go to the gym be more like women? My wife told me that women never walk around the locker room with everything hanging out there, dragging on the floor. She said they always go behind the curtain to get dressed and undressed. In short, they have the common courtesty to be ashamed of their bodies.

Not men.

Every single morning when I go to the gym... Every Single Morning... I walk into that locker room and there's about 15 old, hairy, fat, disgusting men walking around with their enormous swollen bellies bouncing around and their tiny little thingies floppin' back and forth. They just walk around without a care in the world, like they're cruising around from room to room at a cocktail party.

I can barely get to the my locker without accidentally touching somebody. And I try really hard to avoid that. I look like I'm playing Frogger in there.

And these guys always want to talk to me too.

"Looks like it's gonna be another hot one out there today."

I never know what to say in return because my brain freezes in that locker room. When somebody is talking to me and and I know that their penis is only a few feet away, completely uncovered, I start developing a seizure and a severe case of acne.

If man truly is made in God's image, then I really hope if I make it to heaven, that God is at least wearing a towel.