Recipes from Stupid Children

Jodi's mom brought over a couple of big boxes filled with pictures from the 70s and 80s, and lots of Jodi's old things from when she was a kid. I think she brought these over because she wanted us to feed her.

So in between the pictures of Jodi with pigtails and the report cards (all of which repeatedly said that Jodi MUST try to work on her times tables for once in her life and that Jodi is NOT showing much interest in academics and that Jodi would do better if she didn't TALK SO MUCH IN CLASS) there was a little booklet thing with this on the cover:

KINDERGARTEN KOOKBOOK

Written by: Coronita AM Kindergarten

Date: Mother's Day, May 11, 1975

Well, I picked it up and read all the way through it. And then I set it down and said, "Man, kids are really stupid. These recipes are terrible!" And then I had to quickly say, "Except your recipe, honey. Yours was good." And then when she turned away I rolled my eyes.

I'll let you be the judge. Here they are. Recipes from the 1975 kindergarten class at Coronita Elementary School in Corona, California. I say none of these kids were very bright. Except Jodi of course.

OVER-EASY EGGS

You just crack the eggs open and let them out!

- Scott McIntosh

WATERMELON

1 T. sugar

Cut it in pieces.

Make sure it is cold.

Put on plate on the piano.

- Saul Hernandez

STRAWBERRY PIE

I don't know how to cook the crust, but it's first.

On top of the crust you put sugar and then the berries.

Cook for 11 min. at 300˚

- Carrie Byer

PANCAKES

1 C. grease

2 eggs

1 piece bread

Put on the stove.

Cook 2 hours at 50˚

- Julie Marquecho

WAFFLES

Eggs first and then milk.

Then put butter on them.

Cook them and eat them.

- Velma Filmes

BAKED APPLE

3 C. sugar

1 C. water

4 C. flour

14 apples

Mix everything up.

Cook 2 min. at 4˚

- Alan Cavazos

FRUIT PIE

3 green berries

3 orange berries

9 yellow berries

11 apples

10 T. sugar

11 C. flour

Stir it.

Cook 7 hours at 100˚

- Juliet Gonzales

FRIED RED APPLE

1 C. white sugar

5 apples

1/2 C. milk

little bit cinnamon

Peel apples, put everything else on top.

Fry them in any pan you got.

Cook 4 hours at 10˚

- Jodi Norman

PANCAKES

1 egg

1 T. salt

1 C. milk

1 qt. syrup

1 gob of butter

Cook 24 hours at 30˚

- Tony Hernandez

EGGS - FRIED

Break them - no egg shells.

Put butter on can.

Cook - not very long in a hot pan

- Mark Kennedy

PANCAKES

1/2 C. butter

1/2 C. syrup

1/2 C. oil

1/2 C. flour

1/2 C. toast

Cook 8 hours in real hot pan - 8˚

- Jerald Mendzer

BAKED APPLE

5 T. sugar

Just a little pepper (that's a scoop).

1/2 load butter

3 apples

Mix with a spoon.

Cook in oven 10 hours at 10˚

- Tommy Eilits

FRIED CHICKEN

1 C. grease

1 chicken

little bit of salt

Always use no eggs.

Cook 15 hours at 5˚

- Bryon Weitzeil

ORANGE JUICE

Open a can of juice with a can opener.

Put juice in pitcher and fill the can three or four times with water.

Mix it well, put the lid on and put in "frig."

- Gary Dyal

BAKED APPLE

1 tsp. sugar

5 C. water

lots of butter

Take off all the red stuff.

Bake it 1˚ for 12 hrs.

- Brooke Fair

PANNY CAKES

1/2 C. panny cake mix

4 C. milk

3 eggs

lots of grease

Mix with wooden spoon.

Take spoon and put it on a panny cake pan.

Cook 1 min. at 5˚

- Deena Nolin

BAKED EGG

1 C. oil

1 egg

Mix it in pan.

Cook in pan in the oven 1 min. at 3000˚

-Michael Carrillo

WAFFLES

1/2 C. butter

1/2 C. flour

1/2 C. syrup

1/2 C. egg

1/2 C. salt

Cook in pan until they get soft and start to smoke.

- Rachel Rodriquez

BAKED CHICKEN

1 C. flour

2 C. sugar

3 tsp. salt and pepper

Mix it, set it out in sun on a table until mushy. Then put it in oven.

Bake in oven 12 min. at 5˚

- Melissa Conant

EGGS

Break them.

Put them in a bowl.

Cook 2 hours at 4˚

- Julie Marquecho

APPLE PIE

8 apples

9 C. sugar

3 tsp. milk

Cut off stem.

Cook 4 hours in awful hot pan - 21˚

Always check it.

- Stacy Mascaro